Last week, we explored the joy of celebrating what we are grateful for. When we plan the guest list for our fabulous celebrations, we often overlook the most important guest; our own self.
We can get so caught up in making preparations for the event that we don’t show up fully present. We fail to plan in a way that ensures we will fully enjoy the experience. And yet, we allow ourselves to check the milestone off the ‘to do’ list. However, we realize that we have gaps in our memory of some of the events and can’t remember all of the guests that attended the celebration. Looking back over the past 20 years, we’ve held many wonderful celebrations in our home. However, I can count on one hand the number of celebrations that I can fully remember key events and guest interactions beyond ensuring their food and drink needs were taken care of.
I am learning that this journey is really about having our eyes, head, and hearts wide open so we fully experience the beautiful moments we’ve been given. I am personally in the 12 step recovery program on this front. As I write this post, I’m a zombie after having stayed up 28 hours before getting 3 hours of sleep on a plane. I’m traveling to New York to celebrate the musicianship of our son’s high school band. They’ve been invited to play Carnegie Hall. I’m one proud mama! In my excitement, to ensure that this event is memorable for him, I’ve run around the past week like a chicken with its head cut off. Once his needs were met, I turned my attention to the rest of the family procrastinating until the final few days before the event to wrap up preparations. In typical ‘run until you run out of gas’ fashion, I ran errands until the clock ran out. I have promised myself I will NEVER be here again. I’m sure all addicts make such declarations, but hey I can start over on day one again tomorrow.
As I exam success on the ‘fully present’ front, I realize that I must define what it means to me. Once I’ve identified its meaning, I need to implement actions to achieve success. Slight Detour on this thought process: A few weeks ago a friend suggested that I try a diet she was on; you know one of those high protein diets. Actually, the first phase of the diet is really ALL meat. She had lost a lot of weight so I thought it was worth trying. When ordering lunch the other day she informs me that I cannot have the fries on the menu item if I want to stay within the diet guidelines. Without thinking I tell her, “I want to be successful on this diet, but I don’t want to do what it takes to be successful.” This was truly a ‘when the student is ready, the teacher will appear moment’. Of course this is just so obvious, but until we can consciously embrace our own resistance to what we have declared we want, but fail to do the work for, we can’t move forward. What I decided is that success for me is a sensible diet and exercise; this I can commit to.
So, what can we do to be fully present at the celebration? We can decide what presence means to us and then set goals and boundaries to achieve presence. When you are ready for a celebration, start with the end in mind. Give yourself a structured action item list with realistic timelines. Protect your ability to fully show up and stay within the boundaries that keep you focused on enjoying the company of your guests. Whatever you do, don’t neglect inviting yourself to the party!
Until next week,
