Tag Archives: Love

Showing big LOVE through small acts of kindness

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Today, I was visiting our little craftsman cottage on Galveston Island. This property is nearly 100 years old. It has a few creepy elements that are on my list to remodel. The old wooden windows are high on my list to be replaced. We are constantly chasing the birds away from these old windows. For some reason, mother birds like to make nests in the storm shutters and encourage their babies to hide out there on cold windy days.

When I arrived, I heard some rustling and chirping near the master bedroom window. I found a tiny birdie that seemed to be signaling to me that it needed help. When it saw me, it stopped moving and waited to see my response. When I stood and stared at the birdie, it seemed to demonstrate that it could not find its way out up to the top of the window where the screen was torn. It was fluttering up and down the window as if to show me it could not find its way out. At this point, I was concerned that I was its only life line. I went outside with a broom, but realized that the only way to free it was to open the window and risk it flying into the house; totally not gonna do THAT! Or, make a small hole in the bottom of the screen and coax the bird out. Of course I chose the latter option since I need these windows replaced anyway. The bird was a bit hesitant at first, but once it realized that I had made a way of escape, it mustered the courage to fly out the window. I’m sure it was risk since it did not know whether I was here to help or harm it. He flew away and I felt very thankful that I happened to pick today to visit the cottage.

This little incident got me to thinking. Are there other small gifts of service I can offer to help free another from a situation that could open up a real life line? It literally took only 5 minutes of my time, a little Love, and enough concern for the bird to ensure that it could safely make its way back into its community. I am thankful that I had this experience today because it reaffirmed my connection to all of creation. My eyes are wide open for opportunities to BE THE CHANGE. I hope you’ll join me on this road where we can make a difference in our families, communities, and our world. I’m taking 5 more minutes to write my Senators and Representative about these executive orders that worry me greatly!

India Arie and Idan Raichel remind me that I have one more gift I can give. I can give the world the “Gift of Acceptance”. Take a listen…

 

Until next week,

Pernà

Heal Your Heart; So You Can Be The Change…

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In the past, I’ve shared my admiration for those who have come before us and were willing to suffer their own discomfort to move humanity forward. They each exhibited a strong belief in a great spirit which connects us all. The foundation of this connection is Love which causes us to work to meet core human needs. It includes living in harmony with all creation and taking responsibility for maintaining our shared environment in a sustainable way. Leaving a better future for our children was a common theme amongst these great leaders.

In this week’s post, I’d like to focus on healing our hearts so we can show up to serve others with real Love and kindness.

Source: Yahoo Images Search – Love, Unity, Diversity

If you are alive you know that there are many people outwardly displaying their commitment to create a better world by protesting what they believe is destructive behavior and threats, by some associated with the new presidential administration, to implement policies which would threaten our ability to live in harmony and maintain a sustainable environment. I too am in agreement that we want to keep moving this thing forward. However, I realize that I still need a bit more time to focus on my internal well-being.

William Bowen has said it best, “Hurt people hurt people….” I don’t want that to be me, but I am finding that I am just a little too quick with the “Like” button when I see some crude humor in memes that mock those on the opposite side of positions I hold. Maybe, I’m going to mess this up a few more times, but I’m committing to searching and healing my heart so that I can show up in Love and understanding. Here’s what I’ve been doing; please join me if these practices resonant with you.

Morning meditation and intention setting – Each day upon rising I take the time to offer thanks for a new day and acknowledge the opportunity I have to show up in Love. I also listen for ways I can be of service to myself, my family, and my world. Based on what I hear, I set intentions for the day to act upon what I’ve learned in this quiet time.

Evening gratitude prayer – Each evening before I go to bed, I take a few minutes to review my day and journal all of the things I’m grateful for. I also say a prayer of gratitude asking that my capacity to impact my world increases as my heart heals. So far, I’ve had some amazing experiences using this practice.

Seek understanding of negative triggers – Instead of responding to negative triggers, I’m taking note of them and gracefully dismissing myself before I start to spew any venom. Once I’m in my meditation space, I ask for understanding of these negative triggers. Often I learn what I need to heal. And I leave the space with an action plan to decrease the likelihood that I will be triggered by this again.

Improving diet and exercise – I believe that we function best when the three aspects (body, mind, spirit) of our person are in tip top shape. So, focusing on clean eating and a daily exercise routine is another key area that I’ve undertaken. I’m experimenting with options that heal my body from the inside. I’m getting great results to. My skin and my mind are clearer. I’m stronger and more flexible.

In 2017, these are the core practices which I believe will support me in showing up for myself, my family, and my world. Join me in allowing introspection to prepare you to serve more effectively!

This week I’m going back to a great one from the Black Eyed Peas because I want to practice what I preach…Where’s the Love?

P.S. I don’t know how I missed the memo; that women were marching in Houston last weekend.  I’m going to take it as a sign that I was not quite ready to be out there, BUT I’m signed up now to receive and support moving our world forward in LOVE!

Until next week,

Pernà

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

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I Love, Love, Love decorating for Christmas! It takes me back to childhood when getting the place ready for Christmas signaled that everyone was making plans to come home. We would congregate at Grandma Frankie’s house on Christmas Day. Although there was a real limit on material gifts, there was an abundance of Love, Laughter, and pure Joy! It’s in this spirit that I busy myself to get our home ready to receive family and friends for the holidays. Here’s hoping your holiday preparations are going well and bringing you lots of cheer.

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Photo Credit: JD; Décor Elves: Briana, Derek, and Joselyn

Stevie Wonder and Andra Day’s rendition of “Someday at Christmas” is this week’s soundtrack. Enjoy!

Until next week,

Pernà

 

Napa Valley Getaway!

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Sonoma Raceway

This week’s post is a photo tribute capturing my trip with hubby to Napa Valley. During our anniversary celebration last year (our 23rd), we agreed to take more time this year to travel and enjoy time alone together. We feel that this is an important thing for us to do to ensure that we check in with each other; leaving day-to-day responsibilities behind. It’s amazing how much closer we feel to each other when we can let our hair down, enjoy a great time, and experience new things.

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Hotel Andaz: Downtown Napa

After this great trip to Napa, I’m even more convinced that these stolen moments are more than worth the sacrifice to make them happen.

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Hotel Andaz: Downtown Napa

Make the effort to set aside time, save money, and plan little getaways to refresh your spirit and your relationships.

 

 

 

While in Napa we visited: Hall Wines,

Hall Winery
Hall Winery

Rutherford Hill,img_3495img_3484 Arrowood Winery, img_3486and Parmeson Wines (more on this winery next week).

Our trip to Napa reminded me of how much I enjoy having Jonathan’s presence in my life. Eric Benet sang it best…

Until next week,

Pernà

Pontius Pilot – Was he suffering from the Bystander effect?

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Over the past few weeks, I’ve been ruminating on what it would look like to demonstrate love when witnessing another person being harmed (e.g. by terrorism, racism, sexism, a criminal act, or a serious accident). Of particular concern was a post I read on Facebook where a person was experiencing a significant racist verbal attack. Several people witnessed the berating incident, but did not intervene. The victim of the attack left the experience feeling abandoned and unsure whether all the bystanders condoned the attacker’s behavior.

Brother'sKeeper

Source: Yahoo Images

While I mulled this post over in my head I wrestled with the short and long term consequences of what effectively were people suffering from the Bystander effect. As is usually my process I decided to seek some examples from the life of Jesus. It occurred to me that his death may have been the ultimate example of the Bystander effect; of course the phrase was coined.

According to the Gospels, Pontius Pilot effectively did not find a reason to execute Jesus. To help the people calling for his crucifixion to be reasonable, he suggested that one prisoner be set free (this was a typical good will gesture from the Romans during Passover). He assumed the crowd would set Jesus free since the other option was to free a known murderer. To his dismay, the crowd demanded that he crucify Jesus! Although he could not believe their choice, he followed through with the crucifixion.

I wonder if we ourselves are guilty of the Bystander effect. Have you ever examined a situation, knew the right thing to do, but failed to act because you thought someone else would? Or, you were worried about how you would be perceived for coming to the aid of a victim? How to you reconcile in your heart, the abandonment you cause when you fail to answer humanity’s call?

Of course we should protect ourselves from dangerous situations. However, action is required for us to show LOVE and continue to move our world forward. We can do this by examining the views and values that are dear to us. We need to prepare ourselves to join others in action to drive out behaviors and attitudes that do not reflect the highest form of our humanity. The great thing about being ready for action is that more often than not, our action is simply a word of support; not some life threatening mission we must carry out.

Be ready to provide kind words and support for another person being devalued. On that note, this week’s sound track is “Brother’s Keeper” by Indie Arie, because we are called to be our brother’s keeper.

Until next week,

Pernà

Faith, Hope, Love…The Greatest of these is LOVE!

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“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy…rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, NIV

Every day is an opportunity to choose a LOVING path forward. I must admit that this past week was another difficult one for me. The decisions and actions of those around me have the ability to impact my view of the world greatly. To come to terms with these decisions, this weekend I headed to our little craftsman cottage on Galveston Island. This place is a real sanctuary for grappling with forks in the road. I mean, what is it about a porch with a swing and rocking chair that brings clarity of mind?

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Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/19210735888128105/

During my prayer and meditation over the events of last week, I wrestled with a few questions:

  • How can we open our minds and hearts to embrace others when we know that we are all working towards the same goal (of creating a quality product)?
  • How can we learn to appreciate differences and allow these differences to help us to make more robust decisions (to create a quality product)?
  • How can we remove our expectations that ‘they’ need to change to fit ‘our’ idea of the ‘standard’ to create a more inclusive standard (to create a quality product)?

Let me be clear that, ‘a quality product’, in this case is any outcome that we are seeking that requires collaboration and effort by a group of people. In some cases the product is a society which is tolerant of diversity. In other cases, it may be a school which successfully educates and nurtures a diverse population of students. You get my point; right?

When I pondered the questions above in the context just mentioned, the following responses came to me:

  • How can we open our minds and hearts to embrace others when we know that we are all working towards the same goal (of creating a quality product)?

We can make progress by first ensuring that we are working towards the same goal. Sometimes this is as simple as restating the goal and getting everyone to agree that we are indeed working for the same end result; oftentimes we really are not. From here, we can agree to focus on the process we will use to accomplish the goal. Typically, this is where the diversity of thought comes in; because you can make a great product in so many different ways. Since we now know the work is to figure out the process we will use to achieve our goal; we may need to have sessions where we solicit process options, short list the best options, and then make a decision on which we will practice to accomplish our shared goal. Remember we learned from Thomas Sterner that practice makes perfect. We must Do, Observe, and Correct; making changes as necessary to improve our ability to practice. This is the best way to ensure that we will get our desired product.

  • How can we learn to appreciate differences and allow these differences to help us to make more robust decisions (to create a quality product)?

Now this is a tough question because appreciating differences is heavily influenced by how we have been socialized from childhood. Once again the idea from The Practicing Mind of adopting a beginner’s mind is a great approach. If we can approach the ‘new or different’ as a novice with no preconceived notions or let go of our stereotypes, we can be open to learning how a ‘new or different’ approach might be helpful in creating a better product.

  • How can we remove our expectations that ‘they’ need to change to fit ‘our’ idea of the ‘standard’ in order for us to create a more inclusive standard (to create a quality product)?

One of the most fascinating parts of living in a global community is learning how to embrace the awesome attributes that come from cultures different from our own. For example, who knew you could make ‘crepes’ from lentils and rice flour? This has become such a big help for me as I am embracing a gluten free mostly veggie diet. I would never have known I would have this option if I was not open to including a dear woman from India in my intimate circle. My life has been richly blessed by the love, grace, and nutrition she has shared with me and my family. This is such a simple, but profound example of how being open to establishing ‘new or different’ ways of doing things will allow us to adapt what was a standard for us into a more robust standard which includes others.

When I step back and take a bird’s eye view of the three questions. I must admit that the unnamed ingredient, to support responding to each of these questions, is LOVE. In order for us to be willing to have an open mind, to embrace new or different people and ideas, or to expand our standards we must have FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE. Without LOVE, all of these actions may seem an overwhelming challenge that is too great to attempt.

For your listening pleasure, I’ve created a little LOVE playlist to encourage you to give and receive love in the four categories we discussed in our love languages post. I hope you can appreciate the eclectic mix!

Agape (Divine) Love – I Could Sing of Your Love Forever by Hillsong

 

Storge (Family) Love – We Are Family – Ice Age 4 Sound Track

 

Philia (Friendship) Love – You Raise Me Up by Josh Grobin

 

Eros (Romantic) Love – Crazy Love by Brian McKnight

Until next week,

Pernà

 

Happy Father’s Day!

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“Happy Father’s Day daddy thank you for teaching me that I can do anything I put my mind to and to always be my best! Thank you for being an example of hard work, intelligence, and dedication. The older I get the more I understand what you do for us and why. And no matter how old I get I will always be your little girl! Love you always!” Briana Pierre

“Happy Father’s Day to the best dad out there! Thanks for putting smiles on my face and supporting me through everything I try to do! I love you 🙂.” JD Pierre

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to wish all fathers a Happy Father’s Day! Hopefully, you had a wonderful day of rest, relaxation and were honored knowing your family appreciates you.

For my sweetheart, I could not resist pulling together a little photo tribute. I’m exceptionally thankful for a mate who is committed to being a great leader and example of love for his children.

Father's Day

Here’s a little ditty from Sade that reminds me of Jonathan’s love for his children…

Until next week,

Pernà

Memorial Day – Thank You!

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On the last Monday of every May, we take time to celebrate, honor, and remember those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom and way of life. “Greater LOVE has no one than this; to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Source: Memorial Day Pics from Yahoo

The Memorial Day tradition started with honoring fallen soldiers of the Civil war. Over the years, it has expanded to include any fallen hero who has died protecting America. Here at The Love Chronicles Blog, we pause to offer a moment of reflection and acknowledgment of the great commitment necessary for a hero to decide to enlist in the armed forces.

Following the Memorial Day tradition, we salute the fallen heroes and their families who have made a life of freedom possible. We offer a big THANK YOU for their sacrifice and commitment. India Arie has created the perfect song and a YouTuber named Ron has created a great photo video to go along with the song. This is a great tribute. Take a look and listen…

Until next week,

Pernà

Celebrate Your Life!

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This past weekend a good friend and I attended Miska Productions’ “Celebrate Your Life” conference at Unity Church. It was absolutely amazing and totally worth the vacation day from work! The event started with great excitement as Michael Beckwith and his wife taught us to celebrate by standing in gratitude. He suggested that there are three phases of gratitude:

  • Looking for something to be grateful for
  • Being grateful for the current challenges we are facing because they show our great potential as we overcome them
  • Being grateful for nothing in particular; just grateful for what is…
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Source: http://www.unityhouston.org/event/celebrate-your-life-at-unity-conference/2016-05-13/

Michael also gave us great insight into how to approach day-to-day situations. He suggested that we identify the current problem or challenge we are facing. Ask God how best to solve the challenge. When we receive the answer, it will lead to an action or set of actions which we can implement. Sometimes these actions help us to develop a way of life.

Problem/Question/Answer/Action/Way of Life

Gay Hendricks shared a beautiful story about how he found the love of his life; his wife of 36 years. He told us that, “Love is the only thing big enough to accept its opposite.” I was very inspired by this quote. It is a great measure for me to check myself against when I ‘think’ I’m demonstrating Love, but I’m really judging, showing anger, or just plain missing the Love boat in my relationships.

Anita Moorjani had a near death experience and she learned that many illness and life challenges are caused by the fact that we make decisions out of fear instead of Love. We can sometimes get ourselves so caught up that we fear the fact that we are afraid. In these moments she suggests that we take the first step and accept that we are afraid. From acceptance we can move into peace. We can then experience gratitude and then finally experience Love.

Fear/Acceptance/Peace/Gratitude/Love

Bryant McGill has a great story of personal triumph. The main sentiment of what I took away from his session is that we can only be ‘free’ by connecting to God’s vision for our lives. That is, we should always check our spirit’s response to man’s systems and recognize them for what they are.

There were so many quotes from Bryan’s session that resonated with me. Here are few I’d like to share:

  • Tell your truth and let your friends adjust {Your real friends will be okay with your authentic self}
  • Reunite with yourself {In other words, always stay connected to your own heart and soul}
  • Children are the best of what we can become {Making our way back to our childhood innocence, curiosity, love for learning, love for life, and love for others will heal us}
  • You cannot learn from what you dominate {I love this quote! Being willing to maintain an egalitarian environment will ensure that everyone has an equal voice and allow for creativity, innovation, and continuous learning.}
  • We have been remade in the image and likeness of our cultural creator {If we are awake in our spirituality, we will be able to recognize when we are following cultural norms versus being led by God’s plan for us}

Marianne Williamson’s session focused on helping us to understand that human suffering can result in great triumphs. She was very passionate about the fact that our culture has spent so much energy medicalizing sadness and depression versus helping us to understand that there are times in our lives when these are healthy responses to difficult circumstance. She suggested that most of our sadness can be overcome by connecting with our spirit, feeding our physical bodies with nutritious food, exercising, and communing with our friends and family. Here are a few quotes from Marianne that I felt were worth sharing:

  • Some of our best lessons come from dark nights of the soul
  • People who have raised heaven; have first looked into Hell
  • You have very little power to change people who can feel your underlying contempt
  • Part of what spiritual discipline does is to give you the ability to master your impulses

Iyanla Vanzant focused on “The Power of A Fall Down.” She shared her personal triumph over the passing of her daughter, the dissolution of her 42 year marriage, and her bankruptcy. Her raw descriptions of what she learned and how humbled she became were very authentic. She responded to several questions with deep and thoughtful responses. She taught us that “A Fall Down” will teach you:

  • to let go and that everything is recoverable
  • what really matters
  • that a deadline is not as important as a lifeline (to God)
  • what brings you joy
  • that it is unloving and unkind to ask people to do what they do not have the capacity to do (e.g. some people cannot go through the tough times with you)
  • just how flexible you are (Iyanla found out she could eat generic meat, but she couldn’t give up Heinz ketchup and Hellman’s mayonnaise)

Iyanla also advised us to give our lives a theme song. She made her grand entrance on this song. I’ve adopted it for my new anthem. Take a listen and see if it doesn’t make you want to march down a church aisle with a choir robe on.

Until next week,

Pernà

Sunday Dinner

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There is no better place to find Love than at the Sunday Dinner table. For many families, it is a time when the extended family gets together to catch up and enjoy each other’s company. As a mother, I am overjoyed to have the family over so that I can ensure that everyone is doing okay. For those who may be experiencing challenges, I want to offer comfort and a strong sense of belonging. When we know who we are and that our village is available to us, it helps to weather life’s day-to-day storms.

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Flashback on National Sibling Day! My Siblings and Me. Yes, we need an updated picture!!!

My family and I have discussed rotating where we have Sunday dinner and honestly we have not been able to get anything going. The closest we’ve come is creating a family GroupMe where we check in on each other and share personal milestones; it’s so much fun! Although it’s good catching up over the net, I’d so much rather be in the presence of my beloveds.

I was in the grocery store the other day and saw some crab claws. I immediately thought about making one last gumbo before the Houston heat takes over; because who eats gumbo in 100 degree weather? When I woke up today, on a whim I decided to make the gumbo. All I could think of is that I should have been a bit more organized and invited the family over to enjoy it with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to eat this gumbo and enjoy doing it; however, it would have been so much better to have the whole village over shooting the breeze and hanging out.

They say food made with Loving energy transmits to those who are eating it. I’m not sure I understand this thinking, but I do know that when I do something in Love, I personally feel better and I invite good feelings between myself and others; maybe that’s what they mean. Regardless, I know that I want to restart the Sunday Dinner tradition in my family and I’ll be working on the village to make this happen over the coming month

There are some traditions that we need to examine, revise, or abandon. I don’t think Sunday Dinner is one of those; except, maybe what we can cook those dinners in a health conscious way.

Every time I think of Sunday dinner, I think of my grandmother and the Soul Food movie.  So, let’s end with the title song from the soundtrack.

Until next week,

Pernà