“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy…rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, NIV
Every day is an opportunity to choose a LOVING path forward. I must admit that this past week was another difficult one for me. The decisions and actions of those around me have the ability to impact my view of the world greatly. To come to terms with these decisions, this weekend I headed to our little craftsman cottage on Galveston Island. This place is a real sanctuary for grappling with forks in the road. I mean, what is it about a porch with a swing and rocking chair that brings clarity of mind?
Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/19210735888128105/
During my prayer and meditation over the events of last week, I wrestled with a few questions:
- How can we open our minds and hearts to embrace others when we know that we are all working towards the same goal (of creating a quality product)?
- How can we learn to appreciate differences and allow these differences to help us to make more robust decisions (to create a quality product)?
- How can we remove our expectations that ‘they’ need to change to fit ‘our’ idea of the ‘standard’ to create a more inclusive standard (to create a quality product)?
Let me be clear that, ‘a quality product’, in this case is any outcome that we are seeking that requires collaboration and effort by a group of people. In some cases the product is a society which is tolerant of diversity. In other cases, it may be a school which successfully educates and nurtures a diverse population of students. You get my point; right?
When I pondered the questions above in the context just mentioned, the following responses came to me:
- How can we open our minds and hearts to embrace others when we know that we are all working towards the same goal (of creating a quality product)?
We can make progress by first ensuring that we are working towards the same goal. Sometimes this is as simple as restating the goal and getting everyone to agree that we are indeed working for the same end result; oftentimes we really are not. From here, we can agree to focus on the process we will use to accomplish the goal. Typically, this is where the diversity of thought comes in; because you can make a great product in so many different ways. Since we now know the work is to figure out the process we will use to achieve our goal; we may need to have sessions where we solicit process options, short list the best options, and then make a decision on which we will practice to accomplish our shared goal. Remember we learned from Thomas Sterner that practice makes perfect. We must Do, Observe, and Correct; making changes as necessary to improve our ability to practice. This is the best way to ensure that we will get our desired product.
- How can we learn to appreciate differences and allow these differences to help us to make more robust decisions (to create a quality product)?
Now this is a tough question because appreciating differences is heavily influenced by how we have been socialized from childhood. Once again the idea from The Practicing Mind of adopting a beginner’s mind is a great approach. If we can approach the ‘new or different’ as a novice with no preconceived notions or let go of our stereotypes, we can be open to learning how a ‘new or different’ approach might be helpful in creating a better product.
- How can we remove our expectations that ‘they’ need to change to fit ‘our’ idea of the ‘standard’ in order for us to create a more inclusive standard (to create a quality product)?
One of the most fascinating parts of living in a global community is learning how to embrace the awesome attributes that come from cultures different from our own. For example, who knew you could make ‘crepes’ from lentils and rice flour? This has become such a big help for me as I am embracing a gluten free mostly veggie diet. I would never have known I would have this option if I was not open to including a dear woman from India in my intimate circle. My life has been richly blessed by the love, grace, and nutrition she has shared with me and my family. This is such a simple, but profound example of how being open to establishing ‘new or different’ ways of doing things will allow us to adapt what was a standard for us into a more robust standard which includes others.
When I step back and take a bird’s eye view of the three questions. I must admit that the unnamed ingredient, to support responding to each of these questions, is LOVE. In order for us to be willing to have an open mind, to embrace new or different people and ideas, or to expand our standards we must have FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE. Without LOVE, all of these actions may seem an overwhelming challenge that is too great to attempt.
For your listening pleasure, I’ve created a little LOVE playlist to encourage you to give and receive love in the four categories we discussed in our love languages post. I hope you can appreciate the eclectic mix!
Agape (Divine) Love – I Could Sing of Your Love Forever by Hillsong
Storge (Family) Love – We Are Family – Ice Age 4 Sound Track
Philia (Friendship) Love – You Raise Me Up by Josh Grobin
Eros (Romantic) Love – Crazy Love by Brian McKnight
Until next week,
Pernà
