Love Wins!

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

“If I cannot do GREAT things, I can do SMALL things in a GREAT WAY” Martin Luther King Jr.

This past week was a crazy mix of extreme joy and extreme pain. My family and I were enjoying a great staycation; spending quality time together and taking care of some much needed house cleaning. We were in the middle of so much joy when we learned of several devastating incidents that tapped into our national wound; racism.

martin_luther_king_jr_quotes_2

Source: Yahoo Link

Basically, two police incidents were caught on video and in both cases two black men were shot and killed. From the videos it appeared that the shootings were unnecessary. In retaliation another shooting incident was carried out by a black man against what he perceived were eleven white officers; killing five and wounding six. There was much debate and speculation regarding the motivations of all three incidents. Personally, I was deeply saddened both by the shootings and some of the rhetoric surrounding the incidents. It left me wondering; how we can heal our national wound which runs so deep and manifests in so many different ways?

In my quest to find personal peace and consolation, I’ve decided to follow these four practices as often as I can:

Think globally, but act locally. While it is always tempting to want to solve a problem in the broadest way, sometimes it works best to start close to home and within your own sphere of influence. Of course every few centuries a Martin Luther King or Mother Teresa is born with a mission so big they impact the world. For the rest of us, we can commit to living our lives with an open heart. We can improve the world by serving within our families, work environments, and communities.

Practice and teach patience, forgiveness, inclusion, and understanding. As a mother I am often called to exhibit these virtues while loving and caring for my family. Most times, I am the teacher, but at times I’m the student. I specifically remember showing concern when my daughter was assigned to share a room with a self-identified lesbian for a school event. When we discussed it, my daughter proceeded to educate me on the fact that being a lesbian was not contagious and that she had actually participated in ensuring this girl was assigned in a room where she would feel included. I was proud of the fact that despite my hesitation, she was practicing the right principles and I let her know that I appreciated being reminded of the need to show love and acceptance. It is definitely what Jesus would do and how I would want to be treated.

Prepare my children and those in my circle to practice self-respect, respect for authority, and situational awareness. Based on the incidents over the past week, I think it’s time to remind the children and young adults in my circle to be aware of how they carry themselves when dealing with the police and people in positions of authority. While I recognize how an incident plays out may not be completely up to them; however, it can increase the likelihood that they are successful in deescalating a stressful situation.

Practice LOVE not fear (…drops the mic…no more words needed…)

I’ve selected India Arie’s “Brother’s Keeper” for this week’s sound track as I believe we should all hold space for each other everyday and especially during difficult times.

Until next week,

Pernà

Happy 16th Birthday JD! Happy 240th Birthday USA!

44 Comments
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

I’m posting my birthday wishes early. July 4th is the 240th birthday of the Declaration of Independence of the USA and it’s the 16th of my wonderful son.

JD is a very special child. In addition to being born on the fourth of July, he is a Y2K baby. He has brought so much love and joy into our lives. I am thankful to have been chosen to be his mother. I think I speak for his friends and family when I say that being in his presence is experiencing God’s peace and love.

He is so much fun and his enthusiasm for life is hard to contain. Take a look at the joy he displayed today during cake time…

Birthday Party Fun!

Celebrating an Independence birthday would not be complete without listening to “Born in the USA” by the boss. Take a listen…

Back to our staycation currently in progress…

Until next week,

Pernà

Practice makes Perfect! A Beginner’s Mind

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” Shunryu Suzuki

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus

Two weeks ago we began examining Thomas Sterner’s book, The Practicing Mind. We focused on the Do, Observe, Correct process. Sterner’s study of eastern philosophy exposed a key cultural difference between the west and the east. In the west we focus almost exclusively on the end result (i.e. the product) as opposed to the process required to achieve the end result. In eastern culture focusing on the process is preferred since this is within our control and often repeatable (i.e. practicable…is that a word?).

Achieving the end result is a natural outcome of executing a process successfully. Sterner, recalled a lesson from his piano teacher. She told him that practice enables you to ensure that on your worst day, your playing will be acceptable. I love this concept, but what’s the best way to practice? In this week’s post, let’s examine the concept of “the Beginner’s Mind” which Sterner suggest will enhance our ‘practicing’.

Beginner's Mind
Source: http://ravipratapsingh.typepad.com/.a/6a0111688349f9970c01a51192ee09970c-pi

“Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning “beginner’s mind“. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.” Wikipedia

Beginner's Mind2

Dr. Peter Kaufman’s practical advice to college freshman is a great example of how to successfully use the beginner’s mind principle. He advises the students to adopt a beginner’s mindset to reach their  internally set objectives. His three questions are great for self-analysis.

Until next week,

Pernà

Happy Father’s Day!

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

“Happy Father’s Day daddy thank you for teaching me that I can do anything I put my mind to and to always be my best! Thank you for being an example of hard work, intelligence, and dedication. The older I get the more I understand what you do for us and why. And no matter how old I get I will always be your little girl! Love you always!” Briana Pierre

“Happy Father’s Day to the best dad out there! Thanks for putting smiles on my face and supporting me through everything I try to do! I love you 🙂.” JD Pierre

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to wish all fathers a Happy Father’s Day! Hopefully, you had a wonderful day of rest, relaxation and were honored knowing your family appreciates you.

For my sweetheart, I could not resist pulling together a little photo tribute. I’m exceptionally thankful for a mate who is committed to being a great leader and example of love for his children.

Father's Day

Here’s a little ditty from Sade that reminds me of Jonathan’s love for his children…

Until next week,

Pernà

Practice makes Perfect! Keep Succing (i.e. sucking) until you Succeed

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

“…an attachment to results (which we can’t control) rather than to the process (which we can control) is what causes us to feel perpetually discontented.” Brian Johnson

The May issue of Experience Life magazine opened my eyes to an approach that may increase my joy while pursuing goals. Brian Johnson’s article ‘Practice, Not Perfection’ outlines the Do, Observe, Correct (or DOC) approach that Thomas Sterner coined in his book, The Practicing Mind.

When I read the article and began researching this topic, I found so many rabbit trails that my mind wanted to explore that I think we will have to make this a little mini-series on developing a practicing mind.

Practice-Not-Perfection
Source: https://experiencelife.com/article/practice-not-perfection/

This week let’s explore the fundamentals of what it means to develop a practicing mind. When we set goals we typically have to learn new skills or participate in new experiences. Sterner suggests that learning alone and focusing on the end result is not enough to achieve the success we seek. As a matter of fact, he suggests that learning can be passive while showing up to practice is intentional. He believes that repetition and intention are keys to successfully achieve the goals we’ve set.

Sterner suggests that if you show up with a practicing mind (repetition and intention) using the Do, Observe, Correct (DOC) approach, you will develop the mastery that you seek. To ensure that the journey to your destination is fulfilling, he recommends that you ‘analyze’ and ‘do not judge’ when you observe. Judging tends to add emotions, primarily negative emotions (e.g. I suck at shooting free throws). He suggests that you analyze the data obtained during observation and use it to determine corrective actions (e.g. When I shoot a free throw with a bent wrist, I miss 3 out of 5 shots; when I shoot without bending, I don’t miss any). Sterner implies that using the data (without judgement) to develop corrective action is required to truly enjoy the journey on the way to our goals.

There is so much to say about the impact of setting realistic expectations. However, I will leave that topic for next week’s post. Let’s just recap. Developing a practicing mind means showing up repeatedly with intention to learn and master a new skill or experience. Without judgement, we should use the DOC method to continue to move forward towards our goals. Focusing on the process versus the end result will increase our odds of achieving the end result.

Listen to Brian Johnson’s interview with Thomas Sterner discussing, The Practicing Mind…

Until next week,

Pernà

Catching Some Zs!: The Importance of Good Quality Sleep

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

“Getting enough sleep doesn’t mean that you are giving up your goals or your desire to achieve and succeed—on the contrary, it makes you more effective…it’s a performance enhancer.” Arianna Huffington

I’ve been working on my healthy transformation since mid-April. I’m making good progress despite occasional missteps and lesson repetition. Most of my focus so far has been on improving my diet and fitness. Recently, I’ve become aware that SLEEP is another area that is critical for improving health and wellbeing.

The National Institute of Health released a comprehensive guide in 2011 to educate us on the impact of good quality sleep.  This 72 page resource has some great tips and tricks identifying sleep challenges and finding resources to improve sleep quality.

Sleep
                             The National Institute of Health: Sleep Guide

The NIH guide informs that sleep impacts the following areas:

Brain – Learning, Memory, and Mood are positively impacted by good quality sleep. Lack of sleep can cause confusion and irritability. The brain often performs its filing processes at night so missing the opportunity to file may cause your brain to look like a messy office with papers all over the place.

Heart – Provides rest to your heart and vascular system; otherwise the lack of sleep produces stress in these systems which leads to high blood pressure and can trigger high cortisol.

Hormones – Vital hormones are released during sleep. In particular growth and energy related hormones are working to refuel your body. In particular lack of sleep can impact hormones that control weight gain.

Here are a few links to helpful resources to improve your sleep quality:

The NIH sleep guide includes a sleep diary which you can use to observe your current sleep quality.  While you are planning your sleep analysis take a listen to Arianna’s Ted Talk on sleep…

Until next week,

Pernà

Memorial Day – Thank You!

1 Comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

On the last Monday of every May, we take time to celebrate, honor, and remember those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom and way of life. “Greater LOVE has no one than this; to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Source: Memorial Day Pics from Yahoo

The Memorial Day tradition started with honoring fallen soldiers of the Civil war. Over the years, it has expanded to include any fallen hero who has died protecting America. Here at The Love Chronicles Blog, we pause to offer a moment of reflection and acknowledgment of the great commitment necessary for a hero to decide to enlist in the armed forces.

Following the Memorial Day tradition, we salute the fallen heroes and their families who have made a life of freedom possible. We offer a big THANK YOU for their sacrifice and commitment. India Arie has created the perfect song and a YouTuber named Ron has created a great photo video to go along with the song. This is a great tribute. Take a look and listen…

Until next week,

Pernà

Patience, Young Grasshopper!

4 Comments
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

This past week, I’ve had so many opportunities to work on being patient. I’ve shared with you that I’m working through a health transformation and while it’s going well, I am not seeing results as fast as I’d like to see them. I’m sure you can identify with me when I say, it seems like it takes ten times more effort to shed the unwanted weight and bad eating habits than it does to gulp down the sweet treats that helped me to pack on all this curvyliciousness (haha, the spellchecker did not know what to do with that word)! Even though it seems as if it is going slow, I’m still committed to eating well and exercising. Going slow in the right direction is so much better than going fast in the wrong direction. I know for sure that each day I’m feeling and looking so much better.

Source: http://pin.it/dgKQUuo
Source: http://pin.it/dgKQUuo

On the work/life balance front, I’ve committed to reclaiming my creativity. I’m happiest when I have fun things to do outside of work. I know it will take some major patience on my part to embrace my creativity. It seems that I lost so much of the creative side of my brain when I decided to study and then subsequently choose a career in STEM. In addition to patience, as I work my adult coloring book, or sew my headbands in exotic fabrics, I’ve started reading Julia Cameron’s work. She is the author of “The Artist’s Way” books; actually it’s a movement. Take a minute to read up on her techniques to help unblock creativity. Developing creativity helps to improve our attitude as we wait/work patiently to achieve our goals.

On the garden front several of the berries, herbs, and veggies are growing well. However, the zucchini and cucumbers are requiring a bit more patience than I expected. Last year the cucumbers were the continuous bumper crop; however, this year they seem to be producing well initially, but they die after only a few inches of growth. I’m going back to the drawing board and checking the basics to help ensure that I’ve set them up for success. You know sometimes despite our best efforts every endeavor; even ones we’ve been successful at before, has the potential to require more from us than we expected. In these moments we must have the patience to retrace our steps, course correct, and then keep moving forward.

Learning to be patient takes growth and commitment. It may not come all at once, but if we are brave enough to keep committing to our dreams, goals, or relationships, every day, we will develop this elusive virtue. Take a listen to “Patience” from the Dream Girls soundtrack; it will motivate you to keep working for the greatness that is destined to be yours!

Until next week,

Pernà

Celebrate Your Life!

1 Comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

This past weekend a good friend and I attended Miska Productions’ “Celebrate Your Life” conference at Unity Church. It was absolutely amazing and totally worth the vacation day from work! The event started with great excitement as Michael Beckwith and his wife taught us to celebrate by standing in gratitude. He suggested that there are three phases of gratitude:

  • Looking for something to be grateful for
  • Being grateful for the current challenges we are facing because they show our great potential as we overcome them
  • Being grateful for nothing in particular; just grateful for what is…
Celebrate_your_life
Source: http://www.unityhouston.org/event/celebrate-your-life-at-unity-conference/2016-05-13/

Michael also gave us great insight into how to approach day-to-day situations. He suggested that we identify the current problem or challenge we are facing. Ask God how best to solve the challenge. When we receive the answer, it will lead to an action or set of actions which we can implement. Sometimes these actions help us to develop a way of life.

Problem/Question/Answer/Action/Way of Life

Gay Hendricks shared a beautiful story about how he found the love of his life; his wife of 36 years. He told us that, “Love is the only thing big enough to accept its opposite.” I was very inspired by this quote. It is a great measure for me to check myself against when I ‘think’ I’m demonstrating Love, but I’m really judging, showing anger, or just plain missing the Love boat in my relationships.

Anita Moorjani had a near death experience and she learned that many illness and life challenges are caused by the fact that we make decisions out of fear instead of Love. We can sometimes get ourselves so caught up that we fear the fact that we are afraid. In these moments she suggests that we take the first step and accept that we are afraid. From acceptance we can move into peace. We can then experience gratitude and then finally experience Love.

Fear/Acceptance/Peace/Gratitude/Love

Bryant McGill has a great story of personal triumph. The main sentiment of what I took away from his session is that we can only be ‘free’ by connecting to God’s vision for our lives. That is, we should always check our spirit’s response to man’s systems and recognize them for what they are.

There were so many quotes from Bryan’s session that resonated with me. Here are few I’d like to share:

  • Tell your truth and let your friends adjust {Your real friends will be okay with your authentic self}
  • Reunite with yourself {In other words, always stay connected to your own heart and soul}
  • Children are the best of what we can become {Making our way back to our childhood innocence, curiosity, love for learning, love for life, and love for others will heal us}
  • You cannot learn from what you dominate {I love this quote! Being willing to maintain an egalitarian environment will ensure that everyone has an equal voice and allow for creativity, innovation, and continuous learning.}
  • We have been remade in the image and likeness of our cultural creator {If we are awake in our spirituality, we will be able to recognize when we are following cultural norms versus being led by God’s plan for us}

Marianne Williamson’s session focused on helping us to understand that human suffering can result in great triumphs. She was very passionate about the fact that our culture has spent so much energy medicalizing sadness and depression versus helping us to understand that there are times in our lives when these are healthy responses to difficult circumstance. She suggested that most of our sadness can be overcome by connecting with our spirit, feeding our physical bodies with nutritious food, exercising, and communing with our friends and family. Here are a few quotes from Marianne that I felt were worth sharing:

  • Some of our best lessons come from dark nights of the soul
  • People who have raised heaven; have first looked into Hell
  • You have very little power to change people who can feel your underlying contempt
  • Part of what spiritual discipline does is to give you the ability to master your impulses

Iyanla Vanzant focused on “The Power of A Fall Down.” She shared her personal triumph over the passing of her daughter, the dissolution of her 42 year marriage, and her bankruptcy. Her raw descriptions of what she learned and how humbled she became were very authentic. She responded to several questions with deep and thoughtful responses. She taught us that “A Fall Down” will teach you:

  • to let go and that everything is recoverable
  • what really matters
  • that a deadline is not as important as a lifeline (to God)
  • what brings you joy
  • that it is unloving and unkind to ask people to do what they do not have the capacity to do (e.g. some people cannot go through the tough times with you)
  • just how flexible you are (Iyanla found out she could eat generic meat, but she couldn’t give up Heinz ketchup and Hellman’s mayonnaise)

Iyanla also advised us to give our lives a theme song. She made her grand entrance on this song. I’ve adopted it for my new anthem. Take a listen and see if it doesn’t make you want to march down a church aisle with a choir robe on.

Until next week,

Pernà

Happy Mother’s Day

Leave a comment
Facebookpinteresttumblrmail

Today is the day we take time to celebrate motherhood. For many of us our mother was our first teacher and the role model for showing love and acceptance. I’m grateful to have a mother who has loved me, sacrificed for me, and has taught me the value of loving and supporting others. I am eternally grateful that her influence motivated me to always seek the best in others and to help those who are hurting and in need of love and acceptance. I’m thankful for a mother who prays for her children; offering protection as they make their way onto the path created for them by God. Dorothy Helen (…she is going to kill me for using her middle name…) I LOVE YOU!

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her”. Proverbs 31:2

Mother's Day_Pic
1st Picture: Upper Left is my Mother and she’s in each picture. 2nd Picture: Upper Right is my Great Grandmother, Lower Left is my Grandmother

“…and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you”. Proverbs 6:20-22

For many of you this may be a time of sadness and longing as you reflect on a mother who has passed away. Please know that her greatest joy is that you prosper and are in good health. I want to encourage you to remember the light she brought into your life; to feel her spirit surround you when you are still. I am convinced that we still have a connection to this deep love if we take the time to access it and allow it to wash over us during meditation or still moments.

My dear cousin shared a practice that she has with a friend. On Mother’s Day her friend, knowing my cousin’s mother has passed on, calls her on Mother’s Day and offers a “Happy Mother’s Daughter Day” greeting. I love, love, love this idea! So to each of you, who are missing your mother, please know you are her greatest legacy.

For those of us who still have the opportunity to commune with our mothers in the flesh; let’s cherish this time. I want to encourage you to make reconciliation and communion with her a priority. You both need each other in order to fulfill your assigned purpose. Enjoy each other today!

Jamie O’Neal has captured so fantastically how I feel about my mother…take a look and listen to this powerful video.

Until next week,

Pernà